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manda the panda

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(no subject) [Aug. 8th, 2006|10:34 pm]
manda the panda
aaarrrggghh
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(no subject) [Jun. 2nd, 2004|10:14 am]
manda the panda
Wow, it's been a while since my last post. I have been very busy with school since it is the end of the year and whatnot! Urrrggghh craziness. Hopefully my grades will be ok :S

So not much has happened since I last updated. Yep, my life is very interesting! Hehe. Last weekend I went to Allie's block party and it was so fun. Her neigborhood always does a block party on memorial day. They are all great people. I just love her neighbors. I played with all the kids and ate a TON of food, lots of cookies and ice cream. Yum :)

Had a little vodka though lol. Mom let me have a sip, but I had more than a sip...
I felt a little tipsy but I don't think I was drunk. I don't think I have ever been drunk before, at least not completely. The vodka was mixed in with some lemonade and it tasted really good, but I only had a little.

So school ends on Wednesday with yearbook day on Tuesday, and no one ever goes on Wednesday so basically school is almost over. Yippee!!!! That makes me so happy. This year has been good overall, my classes were really easy and I made lots of new friend, which is always fun. I have been hanging out a lot with the powerlifters and they are such great friends to me. Everyone is so supportive and just nice. I am glad I met them!

Coach Drecksel's back has gotten a little better, but not much. I hope he will be ok, especially for the lifting meet in June!! I am so scared, but I have already broken the world record by a lot so I think it will be cool to have it in the books, ya know?

In addition to doing lots of weights after school a few days, I have been running and walking a lot. I can't run too much because my shins are so sore, and so are my knees, so I am trying to take it easy.

This summer I am going to do a lot of babysitting, working out, and reading. I need some cash for shopping with my friends!! I bet I can talk dad into giving me some...

Dad and Dorthy have totally redone the entire house. It looks amazing. She is such a bitch though. I really do hate her. She hates me and she only married dad for money, which I don't understand because she was already rich before! Dad just bought her a new BMW because she "needed" a new car. Well, technically she did since dad just gave me the Jeep. Now he drives the Range Rover and she gets the brand new car. Ho hum.

Well, not much to say really! I think I will start updating a little more because I think it will be fun in a few years to look back at stuff.
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(no subject) [May. 19th, 2004|06:49 pm]
manda the panda
[mood |contentcontent]

Oh man, Drecksel broke a vertebrae in his back!

LOL, that S.O.B. He was complaining that his back was hurting at state, and then he goes and lifts the next day, and then he breaks his vertebrae. He knew he had a pinched nerve, but of course he just HAS to lift. I don't know why I find it amusing, but really I am kind of sad. I don't know when he will be back. Ugh, I really don't want to work out with Ed in the weight room all the time now! I miss him, and so does Chels and Sierra. Well, hopefully we'll find out more in the next few days.

On a lighter note, school is almost out...just over three weeks, I think. Lots of assignments and retake tests ahead for the next few weeks, but still, my mood is lifted!
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State meet...the season is over now. [May. 15th, 2004|02:27 pm]
manda the panda
I am so frustrated right now! State was yesterday. I only ran a 49.3 or something, a PR I think, but I was hoping to do better.

Our 4x400 team sucked big time...well, our 2nd and 3rd legs did. Tierney, our first leg, ran an amazing 62 or something, and she had us in first place! Then she gave it to emily, and it all went downhill from there. Emily fell back to 8th so fast is was embarassing. She was practically jogging. I think she must have run somewhere in the 70's. Then she gave it to Sierra, so I was thinking it would be ok, she could get us up. Nope. She stayed where she was the whole time, and probably ran a 70 something as well.

But when I got the baton, I was so upset, I wasn't even focusing on my race. Apparently I ran a 58 point something. Holy mother... I have never run that fast, never even approaced that time. I feel good I must admit, but it sucks that our other two girls just couldn't step it up.

They are idiot freshmen and the whole time at state they were just goofing around, playing soccer, wasting energy and just sitting in the sun the whole time. Oh, and they kept walking to the gas station across the street for candy!! WTF????????

Oh well...so my 300m hurdles didn't go great, I mean I could have done better, but I am not surprised since my attitude sucked and all, but I am so happy about my 400 time, even though it didn't do much. I almost managed to get to 7th, but I had been at least 50 meters behind everyone. Shit happens.

I think my best moment this season was at regions, when I ran my previous PR in the 300m hurdles and took 3rd, and Drecksel was so happy. So even though I feel like I let myself down at state, I know I ran some great races this year, and next year will be ten times better!!!
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Hmmm... [May. 11th, 2004|08:27 pm]
manda the panda
Ok, there is nothing really remotely interesting to put in my journal, so I guess I just need to do a to do list (lol!)

1) PRESIDENTIAL HIGHLIGHTS outline
2) history quizzes from norton.com
3) Bio assignment 27, need 25 corrected
4) French quizzes, homework needs to be made up ASAP!
5) Photo projects...personal project, self portrait, group shots, another roll of neighborhood shots

Hm, all I can think of right now. Hokay.
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Regions is a success! [May. 6th, 2004|08:46 pm]
manda the panda
GOING TO STATE!

So I ran the 300m hurdles yesterday for the prelims, and I got third overall, which everyone expected. I ran like a 51.1 or some crappy time like that. So I qualified for finals.

Today was the finals, and I took third again overall, but I ran a 49.3!!!! I BROKE 50!!!! Oh my god, I stood there with Drecksel as we listened to the times and places being read over the intercom. When we heard I took 3rd with 49.3 I jumped into his arms and we hugged and it was all handy dandy and stuff.

Then we ran the 4x400m. I knew it was going to be sketchy, since Isabelle was running our first leg because so many girls on our team are injured. She kept complaining, but hey I can't blame her one bit. So she started out and of course was in last place once she got the baton to Emily. Emily ran awesome! She got us up to 5th, then gave it to Sierra, our little miracle girl. She got us up to 4th. In order to go to state, we all knew we had to get at least 4th. So once the baton got to me, I knew the pressure was on. The three girls ahead of me were so far ahead, perhaps 80 meters or so. I knew all I could do was try to keep 4th. I did. I knew I could not let the team down, and even though I was killing so badly on the last 100m, I knew I had to go all out. I beat out the 5th place girl, who had tried to pass me earlier, by like 20 meters or so. I finished and I was so happy we had made it to state, against all odds.

Our girls did very well, especially considering they are freshman. Sierra of course made it in the 800m, which I did not run because it was just after the 300 hurdles and I knew I would not be able to handle it, no way! So I sat that one out and watched Sierra run a beautiful 2:28. I am so proud of her!

Our discus thrower, Vanessa, took regions by a landslide, of course. She is definitely in contention for state this year.

So I am not completely sure at this point who exactly is going to state, but the only guy is Tanner, who ran an awesome 200m. I am looking forward to state on Friday and Saturday next week, it will be a fun experience.

I am very happy right now with my two races. I didn't let myself down, or my team. Because Emily fell in the hurdles yesterday and didn't qualify for state, I knew I had to run a great 400m in our relay to get her to state. So I didn't let her down either, and I know Drecksel couldn't be happier. He acutally hugged me twice! I swear to god, we have never ever had physical contact. Haha. He had tears in his eyes and he told us that no 4x400 team had ever made it to state in our school, so we were happy, and I know we would have done better if we had had a better, stronger girl to run the first leg, but it's ok.

I AM GOING TO STATE!!!!
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(no subject) [May. 1st, 2004|09:25 pm]
manda the panda
My mind is racing still (probably the caffiene) and I need to vent!!!!

Ok. So the things I need to work on are:
1)S-T-R-E-T-C-H!
2)Don't sell myself short
3)Come in with a good attitude
4)Relax

and when that's taken care of,

RUN FAST.

Simple. I know I can do it.

Regions is on Wednesday. I think I run the 300 hurdles on Wed. then IF I run the 800m it will be on Thursday...I just can't read Drecksel's mind at this point. Should I run it? CAN I run it? Will he LET me run it? Huh. I'll see about that on Monday. I think I am going to run it though. I will.

For the 300 hurldes, there really isn't much competition, but I don't want to be overly confident, yet at the same time I need that confidence. Ok, I know I can make it to state. It's a fact, not trying to be cocky but it is. The question is, will I push myself enough to actually qualify time-wise (qualifying for 4A is 47 and some change). Yes, I can run a 47. I know I can physically handle it. Mentally, I don't know. I need to focus and control my mind by Wednesday and get myself together. I need to be positive and encourage myself and not give up. Today was for sure the last straw. Yes, I am frustrated, but I have learned a lot.

If I run the 800 (which I really want to) I need to run my first lap at around 1:10 (ish). I need to keep the pace. I can't just give up and slow down when I really don't need to. I am going to go for it and be really aggressive. The girl from Bountiful ran a 2:22 today. I can keep up with her, maybe possibly not beat her, but stay with her and guarantee myself a good time.

I don't want to overplan, but I need to analyze things and put it into perspective. Track is such a mental sport, and I am just figuring that out. Today was a wake up call.

So some of the things I did wrong today were not stretching, not having any confidence whatsoever, giving up when it really counts, and not pushing myself hard enough. All of these problems can be solved. I just need to stick it through.

I can't believe the track season is nearly over. Oh my god. What happened??? I am going to be sad, yet relieved when I can just step back and look at everything, learn from it, and come back next year with a bang. I can feel it.
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Mission (halfway) accomplished [May. 1st, 2004|07:43 pm]
manda the panda
Ran a 2:28 800m. I knew I could do it. But at the same time, I kept telling myself at the starting line that I would for sure get last and run a 3 min or higher. But I got 5th overall in my pretty fast heat and like 21st out of a whopping 70 girls, from all over the state, and even a ton from like Wyoming and stuff. Not bad at all. I felt like crap though afterwards. Haha my legs and my butt felt like they had been hammered then chainsawed into oblivion.

I enter a really weird mental state when I run. At the beginning, everything is going in fast-forward it seems like. I think to myself, "Oh my god, I am actually running this race. Whoa." Once I get past that point, I feel like I am out of my body, literally. Nothing is going through my mind, except thinking of the rhythm of my steps. The last 100 meters I snap back and push myself as hard as I can. Today I do not feel like I pushed myself. I kept telling myself I would lose, since this is a very presitgious invitational. But I know I could have run so much faster if I would just let myself think I can win. I know I could have won the 800 in my heat. I ran my first lap in 1:08!!! Way too fast. I think. But I saw the clock and subconsciously slowed down. At the end I was able to sprint hard and I had a lot of energy still left. I don't know why I just give up sometimes. But I have learned a lot from today. I know that in regions I will be aggressive. I know I can do anything when I really let my competitive edge out.

I ran a 50.1 for the 300m hurdles. A PR, I think, only by like barely a tenth of a second. Oh well, a PR is a PR. But the same thing happened--I just gave up at the beginning of the race, but then I realized I was in 3rd by the last 100 meters. It was too late, though, to have any hopes of winning. I still know I could have done better. I need to stop doubting myself, and I think today was the last straw. From now on, I am going to be aggressive and competitive to the point where people think I'm bitchy. But I don't care. Let them think what they want. That will just motivate me to do better.

Overall, I am glad I ran. The 800m was tough, definitely, especially since I had not run it in over a year. I haven't even been training at all for it. My coach just says I am stronger now this year, physically and mentally. I didn't stretch at all before the race, which was a mistake, especially since I had been sitting around for over 4 hours between the 300m hurdles and that race. I was too anxious to focus on stretching, and I think I did sort of pay the price, but it was my mentality at the start of the race that held me back. This meet was a good learning experience for me, and I feel much more confident in everything now. I know what I need to do, and by golly I'll do it!!!
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Relaxation before tomorrow's meet [Apr. 30th, 2004|05:17 pm]
manda the panda
I still can't seem to get the meet out of my head. I am so nervous. I don't know why. I can't expect a super good time, I just can't. I haven't run the 800 forever and I am not in great shape. Last night I was just so hopeful, but now I need to see the reality of it. Whatever happens tomorrow, happens. There's nothing I can do about it.

In the course of a lifetime, what does it matter?
(One of my favorite quotes from the book Walk Two Moons)

Tonight, Em, Basima, Allie, Anna, Joanna, and shit load of other people are going to see Mean Girls. It's getting really good reviews, and it looks rather funny. Hopefully that will help me take my mind off of things. Maybe.

Today Em, Anna, Joanna and I sluffed 4th. Haha, I never ever sluff, but today I was SO not looking forward to going to math. Eek. I worked ahead in math on Wednesday, and did an extra assignment, the one that would be assigned today after the lesson, which I already went over. So we just came home, had some lunch, then went to the park to play, revisiting our long lost childhood. What fun! We did the swings and slides and just ran around like fools, but I was really happy and I definitely found some solitude.
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Nerves are setting in... [Apr. 29th, 2004|06:08 pm]
manda the panda
I am so nervous for Saturday. This is going to suck. I NEED to run below 2:30 for my 800m. I am determined. I haven't run it in over a year. This is going to be interesting. But I do know I can do it. I need to push myself more during the race. I often feel like I don't push myself hard enough, so I need put more effort into it. I need to quit saying to myself, "Oh, well, I am not going to win anyway, so what's the point?" I need to tell myself, "I can win this race. I can get a good time." I need to make myself believe I am the fastest girl in the race, and hopefully maybe I will be.

The anticipation is killing me. I have got to know what I am capable of running, and I know I am capable of running a good time, I just need to believe it, and the only way that can happen is when I run on Saturday. It's a shame we didn't have a meet on Wednesday. I really wish we did, since I was going to run the 800 to get a little practice in before the big meet. I want to know my time!! I want to know if I can improve. I can, but I want that to happen now. I am just very frustrated. Practice was worthless, which it seems to be lately. We are not doing much, except sprints and starts. I don't want to get out of shape and gain weight. I want to be in shape and stay skinny! All we do is sit there and talk to Drecksel, even though I am trying to urge Chels, Sierra, and Emily to get their asses moving. It's so frustrating to me. I feel like all we do is play around, and this week I was ready to work, but we didn't, so it's tough.

I am also running the 300m hurdles. I was looking at times and the best ones were like 44!!!!! I run only a 50, which everyone told me is really good, but for me it's not good enough. I need to be faster. When I was little, I was the best at everything, including running. I could beat anyone, even the fastest boys. I had confidence, but now it seems lost. I think I tell myself I can't do things, then I really can't, and it just makes me even more upset. I need to tell myself I can do it. Because deep down, I know I can.
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