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manda the panda

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Nerves are setting in... [Apr. 29th, 2004|06:08 pm]
manda the panda
I am so nervous for Saturday. This is going to suck. I NEED to run below 2:30 for my 800m. I am determined. I haven't run it in over a year. This is going to be interesting. But I do know I can do it. I need to push myself more during the race. I often feel like I don't push myself hard enough, so I need put more effort into it. I need to quit saying to myself, "Oh, well, I am not going to win anyway, so what's the point?" I need to tell myself, "I can win this race. I can get a good time." I need to make myself believe I am the fastest girl in the race, and hopefully maybe I will be.

The anticipation is killing me. I have got to know what I am capable of running, and I know I am capable of running a good time, I just need to believe it, and the only way that can happen is when I run on Saturday. It's a shame we didn't have a meet on Wednesday. I really wish we did, since I was going to run the 800 to get a little practice in before the big meet. I want to know my time!! I want to know if I can improve. I can, but I want that to happen now. I am just very frustrated. Practice was worthless, which it seems to be lately. We are not doing much, except sprints and starts. I don't want to get out of shape and gain weight. I want to be in shape and stay skinny! All we do is sit there and talk to Drecksel, even though I am trying to urge Chels, Sierra, and Emily to get their asses moving. It's so frustrating to me. I feel like all we do is play around, and this week I was ready to work, but we didn't, so it's tough.

I am also running the 300m hurdles. I was looking at times and the best ones were like 44!!!!! I run only a 50, which everyone told me is really good, but for me it's not good enough. I need to be faster. When I was little, I was the best at everything, including running. I could beat anyone, even the fastest boys. I had confidence, but now it seems lost. I think I tell myself I can't do things, then I really can't, and it just makes me even more upset. I need to tell myself I can do it. Because deep down, I know I can.

From: jesirae
2004-04-30 06:23 pm (UTC)
a 50 for 300 hurdles is still really good. I live in maryland and the girl who is number one in the state runs a 46! Are you a sophomore or a junior?
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[User Picture]From: manderson_610
2004-04-30 10:18 pm (UTC)
sophomore, so at least I have a few more years to improve :)
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From: jesirae
2004-05-01 01:59 pm (UTC)
yeah, thats a really good time for a sophomore. You could probably get down to a 46 by your senior year if you continue to work hard at it.
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[User Picture]From: realityisred
2004-04-30 06:36 pm (UTC)
ooo good luck dear. don't let nerves take you over. just ...go.
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