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manda the panda

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Mission (halfway) accomplished [May. 1st, 2004|07:43 pm]
manda the panda
Ran a 2:28 800m. I knew I could do it. But at the same time, I kept telling myself at the starting line that I would for sure get last and run a 3 min or higher. But I got 5th overall in my pretty fast heat and like 21st out of a whopping 70 girls, from all over the state, and even a ton from like Wyoming and stuff. Not bad at all. I felt like crap though afterwards. Haha my legs and my butt felt like they had been hammered then chainsawed into oblivion.

I enter a really weird mental state when I run. At the beginning, everything is going in fast-forward it seems like. I think to myself, "Oh my god, I am actually running this race. Whoa." Once I get past that point, I feel like I am out of my body, literally. Nothing is going through my mind, except thinking of the rhythm of my steps. The last 100 meters I snap back and push myself as hard as I can. Today I do not feel like I pushed myself. I kept telling myself I would lose, since this is a very presitgious invitational. But I know I could have run so much faster if I would just let myself think I can win. I know I could have won the 800 in my heat. I ran my first lap in 1:08!!! Way too fast. I think. But I saw the clock and subconsciously slowed down. At the end I was able to sprint hard and I had a lot of energy still left. I don't know why I just give up sometimes. But I have learned a lot from today. I know that in regions I will be aggressive. I know I can do anything when I really let my competitive edge out.

I ran a 50.1 for the 300m hurdles. A PR, I think, only by like barely a tenth of a second. Oh well, a PR is a PR. But the same thing happened--I just gave up at the beginning of the race, but then I realized I was in 3rd by the last 100 meters. It was too late, though, to have any hopes of winning. I still know I could have done better. I need to stop doubting myself, and I think today was the last straw. From now on, I am going to be aggressive and competitive to the point where people think I'm bitchy. But I don't care. Let them think what they want. That will just motivate me to do better.

Overall, I am glad I ran. The 800m was tough, definitely, especially since I had not run it in over a year. I haven't even been training at all for it. My coach just says I am stronger now this year, physically and mentally. I didn't stretch at all before the race, which was a mistake, especially since I had been sitting around for over 4 hours between the 300m hurdles and that race. I was too anxious to focus on stretching, and I think I did sort of pay the price, but it was my mentality at the start of the race that held me back. This meet was a good learning experience for me, and I feel much more confident in everything now. I know what I need to do, and by golly I'll do it!!!