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manda the panda

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No track meet today! [Apr. 28th, 2004|07:39 pm]
manda the panda
Yay!! Due to crappy weather the meet was cancelled today. Thank god. My shins and knees are killing me. But we have the BYU Invite on Saturday, which I am very nervous for. I have to run the 800!!! Ouch. I haven't run that in over a year, so I am a little nervous. Oh well.

Today was ok (ish). Just boring. Really not much to say...so yeah.
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Bad, bad, bad day... [Apr. 26th, 2004|05:46 pm]
manda the panda
Today started off bad. We were late for one thing in the morning, and I was tardy for health for the third time this quarter. Then in English we got our tests back from King Lear (hate Shakespeare) and I got a 22 out of 25, which isn't bad, but then I learned she gave us a base score of 20 then added up to five, grading it like an AP test. So basically I would have failed if that was an AP test. And the thing is, on my paper, her only comments were "I disagree..." "Are you sure?" and "This isn't what I think." Duh, she is not supposed to base my grade on her opinion. With a lot of kids she told them they had focused too much on just the plot, but she said I had a detailed analysis, she just wasn't sure "which direction I was going in." Well fine.

In history we did our presentation, and I guess that wasn't terrible, but it could have gone better. I seriously thought I would be able to talk about 1950's politics without having to refer to my display board and information in my hand, but once I got up there, everything I had gone over in my head all day and yesterday was gone, so I kept stuttering and having to look at my poster and the papers in my hand to help me. Ugh.

Then in math we got our tests back, and I was thinking I did really well since I understood everything and actually took the time to do the homework!! But I got a 74%!!! That is so bad!! I mean I have NOT studied for math tests and done better than that. What the hell is going on here? It's like, once I put some effort into something, in the end it just doesn't pay off and makes me just want to go back to my bad habits of not studying and just "getting by" and getting "lucky." Perhaps, though, that really does work for me, since I never study, do homework until the last second and whatnot and I still get A's.

Track wasn't great either. It was hot, for one thing, and we had a pretty long track workout, and I was really tired and my body felt fatigued. I felt sort of off balance and like I was running in an ackward manner. At the beginning of practice Ed told me I had to run a mile. Um, yeah, excuse me, but you are not my coach. So I just ran three. Ooooo I am a rebel. When we finally got around to our hurdle workout, Drecksel sort of drifted off and started arguing with the other coach. I swear to god there is so much drama on our team it's ridiculous, and it's not the athletes that create it and act like kids, it's the goddamn coaches. So basically we stood around for about 15 minutes before just doing something on our own while Drecksel stood there and argued with the other coach. After the track workout we did weights, well Chelsea and I did, everyone else had to leave. No wonder. It was so late by the time we finished, due to Drecksel's literal abandonment of us. We only did a little, and then it was so weird, because Drecksel found this note that was in Portugese or something so Chelsea insisted we get on the computer and translate it, and we tried at this one website, but it made no sense at all. She was typing so slowly and it was getting on my nerves. But whatever. I thought I had to rush home and drive El to baseball, but I called in the car to tell him I was near, and he said he already had a ride. Fine then!!!

Stupid French homework tonight. Write something about this thing or something or other. Who the hell knows. I'll figure something out. I am just so hungry. This heat really takes a lot out of me, and it's barely 80 degrees. Mon Dieu!
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The procratinating has GOT to stop...NOW! [Apr. 25th, 2004|11:10 pm]
manda the panda
Oh my god. I just finished my stupid ass history project (finally). Let's see. I got this project a month ago...and I choose start it not last week, not a few days ago, but TODAY, the day before it is due. I am such an idiot. I totally underestimated the time it was going to take. I figured all I needed to do was find some info, organize it, glue some crap to a poster and be done. Well, no. Just typing up all the stupid information took me at least an hour or two. When I was done with that, I thought, ok, the gluing and cutting out CANNOT take that long, so I'll just take a break and start again around 8:00 or something. Well it's now little past 11 and I just got done taking a shower once I finished the project from hell. Oh my god. If I don't get a good grade on this, I will shoot someone. Literally.

Besides today, it has been a pretty good weekend. Friday I had a track meet. Oh yeah. That wasn't so great.

Stupid East High kept putting our runners in the slow heats, even though we are way good enough to run in the fast heats. Candace, for example, runs a 5:45 mile, and she was put in the slowest heat, with girls who run like seriously, 7 minute miles. The girls in the fast heat were running like 5:40's and stuff, close to her time. So then she ended up getting 3rd overall, which is good, especially considering there was NO ONE in her heat to push her, which she needs to do well, like me. In the 300 hurdles, they put me in the slowest heat too. These girls run like 57's, and one girl even ran like a 70!! I run a 50. Dammit. The girls in the fast heat ran 50's, and I could have won if there had been someone challenging me. But there wasn't, so I ran a 52!! Crappy!! I got 4th overall. GRRRRRR. Oh well.

After the meet I hung out with Chloe, Anna, and Joanna. We just hung out and goofed off and had a good time. We watched TV and just talked. On Saturday I went to Em's soccer game, and she lost. After that we went to a movie with Chloe and Megan. We saw 13 Going on 30. It was ok, I didn't like the ending and it didn't make sense a lot, but I tend to over-analyze things, so that's just me. Urgh, and then today just had to happen. All day I have been working, running around to Office Max and Kinko's and then we had people over for dinner, so I had to "be present" while they were there, since it is mom's birthday dinner and all. It was fun, and sort of a relief from my work. But then I had get back to it, and believe me, it sucked. Big time. I am so tired, but I am way too worked up to sleep. I probably won't even go to sleep tonight. oh well, at least I slept a lot this weekend. I will just have to drink two cups of coffee instead of one and drink a Red Bull too.

I also didn't really do any exercise this weekend. I woke up on Saturday and my shins were causing me so much pain by throbbing endlessly. I literally could not walk for an hour after I got up. It killed, and I don't really know why. But I stretched a ton (I was really stiff too) and took a lot of Ibuprofen. That stuff is a miracle drug. And then today of course I could not do anything except stupid history. I didn't even study this weekend once. I am such a slacker. But it's a lifestyle, and I really can't do much about it :)
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Wednesday's (insane) meet [Apr. 22nd, 2004|10:34 pm]
manda the panda
I look back at Wednesday and I have realized that it was a learning experience for me. I look at the 4x100m relay I had to do, and I am very proud of my performance, since I had to start out, and I had the lead the whole time. We ended up winning, which was a major confidence boost. That was a good start to an interesting and painful track meet.

I had been preparing myself all day for the 300m hurdles. I had only done it once ever in competition, and I knew I had a lot of room for improvement, though my time was not that bad (50.34). I will say I was completely nervous getting ready at the starting line. I was more nervous than usual, and I can't exactly say why. When we started I was ahead of everyone, until the 3rd to last hurdle, when I lost it and tumbled (although I did not exactly fall, just sort of a little tumble). The girl who was behind me ran ahead and won the race. I came in second, which is not bad considering the incident.

I look back and think, why? I was in a great position to win, and then this mistake happened. My steps were totally off, because I think I was focusing way too hard and getting more speed, which in all honesty I did not need. It was almost like while I was running, I forgot that I actually had to hurdle. I then saw the hurdle and really realized, "Oh no. There it is already. Wait! I'm not ready!!" I got over the hurdle all right, but I was leaning so far forward that I tripped, and I could feel myself falling headfirst, so I just sort of somersaulted. It wasn't a bad fall. It wasn't even really a fall. Just a little "stunt", as my coach said later. I am amazed that I was able to get back up so quickly. I hardly remember being on the ground at all, and people said I just shot up before anyone realized what had really happened. The rest of the race was a blur. It was hard to hang in there because in my mind I kept thinking, "Wait, did that just happen??" But it did. I don't know exactly how I feel about it. A bit dumb, I have to admit. I feel sort of stupid, but at the same time I just have to laugh about it and take things in stride. Ed said I handled the whole situation with grace. I was determined to shake it off, and I think I have begun that. My knee is a little skinned, but other than that, there were no other "battle scars". I look back and think, "That could have been way worse."

At the end of the meet, after I rested a little, two distance girls on my team decided to do the 3200. They were the only girls in the whole race. They begged me to run with them so we could get more points for the team. So I reluctantly agreed. The race was very painful and definitely an eye-opener for me. I have learned a lot about myself from that experience. I know now how fierce my desire is to win. I am competitive, and I have always known that, but I did not know it was that extreme. During the race I just wanted to stay with the two girls, that was all, then probably taper off toward the end when I got tired. I did taper off a bit at the last 600m, and then all of a sudden out of nowhere, near the last 150m, I decided, "I am going to win this race. I want to win." Throughout the race I had told myself, "Ok, this doesn't matter, there is no pressure. You did this for the team. You don't run distance. It's ok." But I suddenly found flame the end, and I realized I had energy, and that I wanted to win. I used all my strength to catch up to my teammates, then suddenly I was like, "Ok, I can pass them. I think I can win." And I did pass them. I won, and no one saw it coming. I feel so weird! I am not a distance runner. I know I will never run that race again, though. First of all, those two distance girls on my team train hard and run like crazy to do well at the 3200m, and here I am, whining about have to sprint a 200 at practice. I feel guilty, like maybe I should have let them win, but at the same time, I was proving something to myself.

Tomorrow is the real test. Another meet, another 300m hurdles race. I know I am nervous, just thinkning about it I get chills and start to sweat. I cannot be scared. I can do this, and I just need to stay strong for tomorrow, becuase I am determined to do better than I ever thought possible.
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Busy week [Apr. 20th, 2004|07:04 pm]
manda the panda
Wow, I haven't written in almost three days. Well on Sunday I got around to doing a shit load of chores and homework. Not the best way to end spring break, but I had no other choice (except maybe start stuff earlier...) Sunday night I had tons of trouble sleeping and wound up getting only about 4 hours or so. Yesterday...hm...what happened yesterday? It's so boring I can't even remember. Oh yeah, after school at track I cleaned 110 pounds. Yes!!! That's more than the best guy at our school can do, the one who holds like a gazillion world records!! Drecks looked really happy, but of course he would never say so. Still, it felt good.

Track meet tomorrow. Just a JV one, so I am not freaking out or anything. I'm not saying my confidence level is so astronomical that I know I will win everything, but still, the girls at the JV meets from the schools we compete with pretty much...suck, to put it lightly. Apparently at our last JV meet, of which I was not present, we won everything :)

Today at track we did some hurdles and starts and I actually ran the two lap warm up, as much as it killed, since my quads still hurt from yesterday's weight session. Then I came home and ate some frozen yogurt, popcorn, oatmeal, and had quesadillas for dinner, then had some yogurt and a banana as a little post-dinner snack. AND I actually did my math! Me, the little slacker. I did it. Wow.

Ok, the one thing I NEED to do is study history. I am going to be bringing my study book every single day to school, because during most of my classes I have a lot of free time (or free time I make for myself while I DON'T pay attention to the teacher). I think I will study tonight before bed. That ought to put me right to sleep, eh?

I did my French homework too (freetranslation.com rules!!). Yes, I can't even speak French and it's my fourth year. Dammit. I knew I should have paid attention in 7th grade. Oh well. No one in the U.S. really speaks French, do they? Everyone speaks Spanish I guess. Another mistake I made in 7th grade, not taking it. Shucks.

I am at least current on homework in most classes (excpet English, I need to get the King Lear AP Summary worksheet finished by Wednesday, and I need to retake my French quizzes that I failed). Other than that, things are going pretty well I guess, except this whole history AP test is starting to get to me. As long as I tell myself I will study, though, I really won't stress too much, even if I don't study until the last day! Oh well, I WILL study, I am determined!! I WANT TO PASS THIS TEST!!!!!! Except honestly, I don't have any motivation whatsoever except for the wee bit of motivation I create for myself. My parents don't care if I pass, my teacher doesn't care (at least she doesn't act like it), my friends all don't care...and I don't really care. That much. Except I want to do at least better than Em. Hehe.
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Stuff to do for the remainder of spring break (all two more days of it anway...) [Apr. 16th, 2004|09:50 pm]
manda the panda
1) H I S T O R Y
-This includes stupid chapter 33 (copy from Em), work on 1950's project (call Megan so she doesn't wet her pants), Presidential Highlights (good god, give me a break Mrs. King!)

2) Photography project--"sense of place" (Tom is a crackhead...but we all love him anyway)

3) Laundry (oh joy--not)

4) Math homework (did we have any? hmmmm...I'll just go with my instinct and say no...scratch that one) (?)

5) French famous person outline (merde, qui est celebre a la France?? Porquoi est-ce que Mme. Hopper une femme tres terrible et stupide?? PORQUOI?? Alors, elle est tres mal a la tete, oui oui)

6) Ummmmmm...other stuff...(?) I'll think of something.
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Phil in action [Apr. 16th, 2004|09:31 pm]
manda the panda
Oh man. Oh man. Phil is going up to Eric's house right now to "enter, then break in". Please. Eric's out of town with is disgustingly rich family in Hawaii (where else? that's where all the rich people go, isn't it?) Just because they are best friends, doesn't mean Phil can just go barging in when they probably, for all we know, have CIA agents roaming around, video surveillance, alarm systems, the works. Ha. I will wet my pants if Phil gets caught. Idiot.
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...and ridiculously expensive cars for a ridiculously expensive step mother [Apr. 16th, 2004|07:27 pm]
manda the panda
Oh yeah, had lunch with dad today and he told me that Dorthy has "finally found a good offer on a BMW station wagon!" that "good offer" being $47,000!!! AND IT'S USED!!! I just don't get it...they always whine and complain about how damn expensive everything is, how their electric bill is off the graph, taxes are horrendous, mortgages are a nightmare, yet here they are spending that much goddamn money on a goddamn car! Oh and it gets better. The other day I was just casually looking through Ollie's closet (this 2 year old has more clothes than I will ever see in my life) and saw a precious little Polo Ralph Lauren dress hanging on the hanger....with the price tag still on...and oh yeah, that dress was a freakin' $95!! And it's just a regular little cotton polo-style dress. And she will never wear it. I guarantee it. Too bad we aren't the same size...

Haha but Dorthy and I are! Not that she would ever lend me anything. Well, she did once give me a striped Banana Republic shirt (I saw it in a catalog at the "special price" of $75, mind you) and a Ralph Lauren bag thingy that was probably equally ridiculously expensive. But whatever. I think it's sad that we are the same size. She is 37, I am 16. She is 5'9", I am 5'2". My mom saw her a while ago at the store, and she didn't even know it was her, and she told me that the whole while she was thinking, "God, that woman has an eating disorder!" and sure enough, Dorthy turned around and my mom caught a glimpse of her. She is even thinner now than when before she had a baby. I mean, that's just wrong. Her arms look like they are going to fall off. But my dad insists that she is just "naturally thin". Ha. Well so am I (sometimes, I think) but I don't look like an Ethiopian!!!
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Ugh [Apr. 16th, 2004|07:24 pm]
manda the panda
I am so tired. Last night I went to bed at about 3am and had to wake up at 8 for track (thank god for Red Bull!! :)). I have done so much exercise stuff today it is not even funny. First of course I had track practice where we did tons and tons and tons of sprints and starts out of the blocks, then did hurdles forever. In addition, since I was feeling really ambitious, I went to the gym and ran two miles then hopped on the bike for a whole hour and burned 450 calories. My body feels dead!! I am too tired to type more.
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Long live the non-pizza-eaters!! [Apr. 15th, 2004|09:06 pm]
manda the panda
Went over to Phil's again. John ordered pizza and everyone was eating except me! I guess I have gone so long without eating pizza that the thought of it makes me sick. It was almost like I literally couldn't eat it. Go me!

Anyway. I am still so bored it's repulsive. I know I could be doing something, like studying for AP test or doing other homework crap. But no, I just find something else more "important" to do. Like play the Sims. Or do nothing. Hey, as I always say, it's good to do nothing sometimes.
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